where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
