I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
