Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize