Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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