No stitches, just platelets and will power
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
