Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
