he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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