Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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