your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
