i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
