i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
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