he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
