He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
