My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
