Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
