Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
now i know why i became what i already was.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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