Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
