just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
