I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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