is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
