I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
