how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Everything about him screamed your future.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You don't make any sense
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