i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
