he puts the penis in happiness.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
