Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
