wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
