I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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