I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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