Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
