we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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