Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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