Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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