Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
