The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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