Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
