To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
is that a dick in a sweater?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
