I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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