Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He literally asked permission to hit on me
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
