You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
