you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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