I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he puts the penis in happiness.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
