omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
