I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I still have a little drunk in my system
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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