Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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