Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize