dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
