Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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