No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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