You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize