Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
