Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
