One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
