kristin has been a bad kristin
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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