Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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