ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i don't like sucking hair
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
