i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
