We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize