But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
