Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize