i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
