that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
