I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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