Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
