So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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