At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
