All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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