Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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