Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
