so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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