I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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