once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
