SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's never too late to be topless.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
