Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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