Sponge bath it is.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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