What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
