people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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